One with the Universe so Im taking the HOV lane

Liquid Semiprecious Display

Red Rocks Amphitheater, Morrison, CO

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

 Isy! You uh you you you…You, you, yeah, you little rapscilion! Yeah yeah man what’s up? It’s your old buddy WARA. Couple, couple of quick thoughts, I’m totally dig the trip down memory lane from DC.  Uh, Wow, there were uh a few off the rail nights there, which got me remembering a summer out in Colorado.  ohhh man, what an experience! But uh , oh sorry I wasn’t answering the other night, you know im just 3 missed calls and 14 text messages away, hah-he ha.  Yah,  4^th of July is right around the corner which is what got me thinking  So I got to remembering this show I went to thought I’d call and let you know how it went down ohh what I remember of it. dude what a trip. Let me back up though First off red rocks.  Red rocks has got to be added onto your bucket list it’s probably the single most epic venue to watch a show, it’s outdoors, but its closed in and intimate and the fact that we were there, you remember Hunter and Vance right? Yeah, we were there on July 4th with all the fireworks going off in the background of litup Denver, uh yeah it was just insane. If you didn’t know, Blues Traveler has been playing that venue for years on July 4th and it’s the perfect soundtrack for the summer holiday vibe  It was um just like the night sky out in the horizon the whole place is made-up of these wide bench seats like a first class amphitheater you know with extra legroom and then on the sides are these natural jutting out rock formations and down below the stage but before all that happened the parking lot was like a grateful dead festival ground, people are selling grilled cheese the barter system was alive and well uh trading This for That… I don’t remember eating at all he… I was there with hunter and our buddy hunter yeah i said and Vance And hunter had us consuming all all sorts of various cocktails uppers feel gooders libations we’re already floating through the dusty parking lot weaving through the cars when I shit you not this mime… yes mime like the one you see in france… never says a fuckin word, pops up with white painted face and he’s playing charades with us pulls out this eye drop bottle and pretends to drop it into his hand and lick it, and Hunter asks how much and he holds up 10 fingers and motions us to hold our hands out in a swooping theatrical way and squeezes some liquid into each of our hands setting into motion what could not be undone. It was already full throttle was our mutual sentiment.  Kinda like in Fear and Loathing when hes explaining “Once you start a serious drug collection its hard to stop” or something like that, when he opens the suitcase in the trunk in the desert? remember that scene Anyway, we were well on our way, our judgment was suspect at this point We had freshly swallowed some pills with a Mitsubishi symbol pressed into them and we were pounding our beer before getting through security  Phew! So, we got to our seats early and this is before everyone was filling it in like later it was just this uh dense crowd of people everyone into the music dancing but at this point there was um fairly empty seats it was still light out we found ours somewhere in the center you know up near the back I thought 2/3 up or so and there was there’s one solo chick right in front of us, ah lower by one row gorgeous with her arms above her head like she’s a genie dancing to the music that was just playing over the loud spea…

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

“So she was wearing jeans and her top was just a blue bandana folded into a triangle and tied in the back actually and this long dark hair, intimidatingly hot totally out of our league and at one point she spun around and flipped her hair down So picture this…she was bowing in front of us at the waist and there in her hair she was offering something to us.  She just froze in that pose, bent fully in half,  without saying as much as a word, her legs were crossed at the ankles and we noticed both hands were hidden in her hair, and you could see something was there as the wind blew.  Get this she was offering a packed bowl, Duuder, so yeah with just the kindest of bud only Colorado can produce, which is the point where I think I went over the edge like it activated the mime juice, which by the way was like a theme now that Im thinking about it the not speaking, she never spoke a word to us either, um so we puffed again while people started filtering in and I looked over at Vance I could tell he was already twisted because he kept darting his tongue out and… 

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

Hey, ho!  My flapping jaw hung up the phone there, motor mouth hehehe.

Dude! the way you say “Isy Badger”, are you going for an android voice crossed with 30% “It’s a me Mario”  hahaha.  Actually, did you know, “Itsame” is Japanese for “Super”? Wooooooahh right?  This whole time I thought he was saying “IT’s-a-me” in a heavy Italian accent but he’s actually speaking Japanese and saying “Super Mario” I’m sure you read the internet already though Oh, but so, his freaken tongue looked really triangular and plump, and covered in dehydrated spit. Like an earth colored toad playing peekaboo with the world.  He would just keep poking it out every 10 seconds or so and hahahha, this one Mexican guy with a heavy Cheech accent next to us is like “eh man, what’supwith your feerend? he looks like a leezard.” I don’t think I answered I believe we had all lost the ability to talk at this point.  By then I realize why they call it candy flipping I was going through waves of feeling good then a switch would flip and I was tripping and the acid would kick in then back to the MDMA, not as much a blend I thought it would be, or maybe it was and elements surged to the forefront at times but it was the search for the bathroom that changed the whole course of the evening  The night probably would have stayed epically good if I had worn diapers…. You ever lose your car in Costco’s parking lot except you’ve ingested so many crippling substances you’ve given yourself over to your inner three-year-old autopilot?  So yeah, that’s when everything caught up with me, the whole derangement of the senses, the big crowd, the light shows. Its night now and it was overwhelming you know when you’re out at an event away from the safety of your home seat and friends  Its like I blinked and I was transported to another   

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

You’re sending me to voicemail reeeaaaal quick pal, hope you’re not in a meeting I’m gonna talk quicker to get more in Let me explain it this way  uh Have you ever been driving down the street and seen those fucked up people that are immersed in something intense and um completely private?  Moving their heads and arms around like operating a VR headset Talking to the specters of their disorder  Well I was him, and he was me  I knew enough to know I was irreparably altered, and my words were words of comfort to my young navigating self, though I was so vulnerable they had to be spoken aloud for anyone to raise an eyebrow too. Im pretty sure I was whispering to myself encouragment  And I was in dirty hippie festival attire hahaha no shoes by this point big pants hemp and wooden bead bracelets silver rings dirty tee shirt and face eyes that would rival a powerpuff girl…and this magnificent spectacle of yours truly was caught in a time warp, spatial teleport that evening.  I could NOT find my seats again and my spatial awareness disappeared so while my recall was telling me center,  center about 2/3 up to find my empty seat…but then uh all of a sudden, I’d find myself down front by the 5th row or something And the music would suck me in, it was overpowering just in the isle or if I had pushed through the sea of people, then suddenly I’d be on the left side and rinse and repeat.  It was bizarro world.  I sympathize with Tyler Durdan.  It got to the point where I could perceive that people had seen me before but I had no memory of them  Was this a bad trip? YES haha I was a distraction a nuisance for others, a spectacle.  though at the time I just went with it in a fairly peaceful manner …interrupted with acute stabs of frustration…and surrender.

So I’m pushing through people sorry sorry sorry and I’d be looking around there and everyone would be kind of looking at me like what is this slinking smeagol creature doing here and I just kind of get lost in the moment a guitar would crash and steal my attention and then I’d just be lost there for a song next to strangers before I was like oh shit I gotta go, but the good energy of the set list kept things positive and then I pushed through the crowd get through the aisle and it was it was an impossible task. I have snippets of people talking in my direction I remember at one point hearing somebody stick up for me I’m not sure what was said but I heard another saintly voice say “just leave him alone. let him be. he’s not hurting anyone” At this point I remember being on the left isle far down and way too close to the stage I knew they were talking about me but I did not have the ability whatsoever to respond or talk… That’s when I knew my autopilot was shit this was the opposite direction I knew that much  Also… I could merely observe the direction my head was pointed from within my own automated body  I don’t recall having the ability to move my head via will power … It was like having the go and stop button of my own mech suit.  And this wasn’t even the craziest part.  Let me just call you back before it dis,,,

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

So um, this was this was the only time someone really tried to connect with me while I was just sitting in the aisle up now, up near the top right, looking over the whole beautiful atmosphere but kind of feeling defeated as to finding my seat and so I was just taking in this the whole scene, the crowd was one living and moving entity with lights flashing on and off it and the music was moving through me, this is when I saw the 4th of July fireworks coming up all over the night horizon of Denver behind,  and this one girl sat right next to me and started talking and just like kind of a casual way but something was wrong but she was super unconvincing in the way she was telling me like there was something off like she was fake  Like… I think the fact that my uh capacity for speech was basically not there must have come off cold hee*and I also didn’t really look at her too much apart from the first time when she startled me, probably did look at her again in slow motion like a granddaddy tortoise, hahahaha but she was saying things like ohh nice night good show huh and I I was like why are you… I’m thinking this now, you know… why are you talking to me and she was, she was really attractive and cleaned up not matching my aesthetic at all  And she started complaining about her boyfriend not treating her right and a fight and that she felt lonely and then we’d sit in silence until I would forget she was there  When she reminded me she was there her voice was devoid of emotion like some type of soulless energy vampire  and I got the sense she wanted something from me but not anything was being advertised and eventually she started asking me if I knew anyone who likes to party or if she could score anything from anyone and I just sat there. It all felt surreal but then so had the last perpetual hour and I just sat there and I don’t really have a good sense of time at this point but it seemed like she was there for a long time trying to instigate conversation with me 

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

I actually got worried you would pick up finally after I’ve come all this way with the story  So, yeah buddy, finally I think she just kinda became another pixel in the whole bizarre spectacle melted into almost forgetfulness until she, and I shit you not, suddenly she stands up obviously frustrated upset and then pulls out a walkie-talkie and says with the first real tone this guy knows I’m a cop as she walked away and I was like WHaaaaaah…It just left me sitting there going holy shit not that I had anything on me or knew anybody to rat out haha… everything I had was already in my system but that whole night it’s probably gonna haunt me for years if for no other reason than when I finally was reunited Hunter was understandably upset they didn’t know what happened to me I don’t think he could enjoy the show at all he was like dude they were calling me watchtower because I was just looking for you from standing up tall but we never did connect… I guess it goes to show when you take a trip with someone else driving don’t freak out even if that someone is you.  But yeah man wanna go to Red Rocks this year? We can just stick to beverages  Or maaybe we should all go… I’m gonna give Vic a quick jingle cheers

*click

You have reached the voice mailbox of …Isy Badger…Please record your message after the beep.  

*beeeeep*

Oh one more thing one fiiinal thing it’s the anniversary of that great that epic Waldon Pond wiffle ball game we played. You remember… you remember that one my Fine Feathered Friend?! OFCOURSEYOUDOYOULITTLEMICKPILGRIMRACONTEUR loveyoubuddybye.

*click